Love After Life Part 6
All Good Things...
This is the next in a series of essays that have dealt with my evolving thoughts, feelings, assessments, and experiences with the concept of love and loving again after the loss of Kara and the life I had at the time. It’s an ever-unfolding journey that I’ve been writing about in one way or another from the beginning.
March 2025
Though my first romantic relationship since losing Kara ended amicably last summer, it was still pretty rough on me. There were also a lot of other things going on in my life at the time, and it took a while for me to get all my wounds effectively licked and be able to smile pretty again.
But smile pretty I did, when a lady who could be described similarly wanted to go walking in the woods with me last fall. I’m nothing if not a sucker for women that love the outdoors, and her relationship with Mother Nature was akin to mine. I swear, if a woman ever asked me to “Get mycorrhizal” with her, I would likely propose marriage on the spot. I digress.
It was a long-distance relationship that lasted almost half a year before she ended it. But it wasn’t the distance, a degradation of physical attraction, or even loss of love that caused her to end our romantic relationship.
Relatively recently, her boys reached adulthood and moved out, and she divorced her husband. After finally being on her own for the first time in her adult life and approaching middle age, it became evident that the relationship that needed her focus most was the one with herself. She had to heal, discover who she was, what she wanted and needed, and what the rest of her life might look like.
And for the first time in my life, I applauded someone for breaking up with me. Sure, I was partially heartbroken and knew I would be sad again for a while, but I was also happy for her. And not that I have any right to be, but I'm proud of her. For doing the healthy thing and not the selfish thing. For doing what was best and not what was easy. And recognizing and acting on the fact that before you become two, you need to know that you’re solidly and comfortably one. She’s doing that as I type this.
Maybe I’m as good with it as I am because I’ve gotten to know myself better than ever over these last few years since the loss, and I recognize how critical that is. I can also use losing a relationship to self-love as an inspiration and reminder to continue on that journey myself.
Beautiful. You have a gorgeous heart.