Christmas Lights
**This essay is the next in a series that deals with the topic of caring for an aging loved one, namely my mother. Be advised that these are intended to deal with the serious issue of cognitive decline, in a lighthearted and humorous way. Feel free to peruse those linked stories for more background or information.**
December 2022
They have one of those driving Holiday Light shows set up at a sports complex near Mom’s. She loves Christmas lights - I mean LOVES Christmas lights. And it’s free, so this was kind of a no-brainer for one of our Sundays together leading up to Christmas. Even though there’s no cost, you have to get a scheduled time online so they can keep the crowds spaced out a little.
“That doesn’t matter, guy. Carol and I showed up two hours earlier than our ticketed time last year, and they let us right through.”
“Yeah, ma, I’m sure they did, but they do have reserved times for a reason.”
“I’m telling you it doesn’t matter guy.”
“Okay, ma.”
I had my jazz station on the radio during the drive over to the complex. As we approached, I asked if she’d like me to put her Christmas music station on. An offer she politely declined. Until we were about 50 feet from the grand entrance gate of festive flickering fantasy. It was just then that she announced curtly,
“I changed my mind - put on the Christmas music.”
“Okay, well I’m driving, can you put it on?”
“How?”
“Mom, it’s a radio - you’ve encountered them before. Here’s the “scan forward” button.”
She then proceeded to speed bag the scan button on the bench seat console in a way that leaped over clusters of stations at a time.
“Ma, why are you….slow down, your skipping….ma!”
“Well, this thing is now way past 103.3. I don’t know what’s wrong with it and now I’m missing my lights.”
“That’s because you’re mashing that button like it dispenses morphine, ma. Jeezus, slow down. There’s a “scan backward” button there too. Numbers go both up and down, you know?”
“I’m missing my lights.”
“I’ll do it…..there. Damn it, this guy behind us thinks it’s a race. Dude - relax, you can’t go through us. He still has his headlights on, too - what the hell, man?”
“How beautiful.”
“That they are, ma. I really like the long tunnels - oh look, an Orca in Christmas lights….Why isn’t the wide-angle on my phone….oh, I’m in video mode.”
“Take a video, would you guy?”
“I think I just accidentally did.”
“Well, would you take another to make sure?”
“Of course ma, I was kind of making a joke.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that was beautiful. Thanks so much for driving us, guy.”
“It was, and my pleasure, ma.”