July 2023
For quite some time now, my mother has been enamored with TikTok. In fact, she regularly carves out intervals throughout the day specifically to catch up on her TikToks. Recently she brought that party over to her other favorite form of social media sharing, Facebook. Where she now posts her top TikTok videos as much as anything else - numerous times a day when she’s feeling froggy.
But she always does so with a very brief, one-word or one-sentence description seemingly meant to lure potential viewers. Which is cute, but also from my perspective - hilarious. Here are some actual examples.
“Really.”
“So true.”
“It’s scary!”
“I didn’t realize.”
“You’ll enjoy this.”
“Yes, think about it.”
“Heroin humor, oh yeah!”
“It wasn’t really all that long ago.”
“Oh boy, you’ve got to see this to believe it.”
And my personal favorite - “What kind of fresh hell is this!”
But it’s only a matter of time before she starts running low on high-quality enticements. So in an effort to help Mom continue to lure friends and family into her MomTok world, I’m offering up some fresh fodder for when she falls on hard times creatively.
“I’ll never be the same.”
“Finally, a reason to live.”
“And I thought I was incontinent!”
“You say potato, and I say this bitch is crazy.”
“Looks like Christmas is canceled for someone.”
“They say there’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s….but.”
“Watch this TikTok or you’ll eventually morph into the sort of heartless monster that is incapable of giving or receiving real love. Or maybe you’re just afraid - you look scared. I think you’re scared.”
My sister’s offerings:
“Tender”
“Dynamic”
“I would do this for a Klondike Bar.”
“I thought you couldn’t polish a turd.”
“You’re so vain, you probably think this TikTok is about you. Don’t you? Don’t you?”