Mom Vs Alexa

The older my mother gets, the more fascinating her relationship with modern technology becomes. Back in the cocaine-fueled 80s, both she and my father relished in new or entertaining technological advances. I believe it was my father who, during that decade, was the proud owner of a “He who dies with the most toys wins” t-shirt. What a time. Curious that their son would grow up to become an off-grid minimalist. Maybe that’s a whole different essay.

As she’s aged, however, the newer acquisitions my mother tends to favor are those that promise heightened levels of convenience or quality of life, which is great. About five years ago, she became obsessed with the idea of getting her hands on an Alexa. As you may already know, the virtual assistant developed by Amazon utilizes AI to perform various tasks. Play music, set reminders, answer random questions, manage other home devices, etc. Saucer-eye inducing shit for Mom.

So she got one. Not too long after, I came over for a visit and was somewhat surprised to find Mom leaning on Alexa like a rented mule. Not only for the fact that she was having her play music, set timers, and answer every question under the sun (does Popeye’s make spicy nuggets?), but also because she would dress down the poor little cloud-based faux person whenever she didn’t come correct.

If Alexa didn’t respond quickly enough or in the manner Mom was expecting, she’d give her a tongue-lashing. Or at the very least, an irritated tone or raised voice. For example, if music was playing and mom wanted the volume lower, she’d announce in an already irascible tone, “Alexa, lower.” And if Alexa didn’t catch it the first time, or didn’t lower the volume enough, mom would crawl up her ass with a quickness. “Alexa, I said lower!!!” It was a scene, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Like, why? Are we trying to establish the power dynamics within the household before Alexa adapts and gets too comfortable?

The behaviour was intriguing enough that I brought it to her attention. But me being me, I made a joke out of it. “Hey ma, let me try - Alexa, I said turn it down, you clap-having Jezebel!” And Mom being Mom, took it quite well and erupted into laughter. To her credit, she toned it down considerably. She then revealed to me that the friend who turned her onto Alexa spoke authoritatively when making requests, and Mom assumed that a stern tone was required to make the magic happen. Like hitting “enter” on a keyboard.

However, I still wonder if I should have intervened. In the same way that I release frustrations by listening to heavy metal or modulate my own moods by going for a walk in the woods, maybe taking her day out on Alexa could help Mom do the same. And prevent her from someday getting snippy with the ladies at the apartment office for failing to find an Amazon package. I might have fucked up.