Facebook is the Devil

March 2023

Facebook Memories along with Google Calendar, Photo notifications, etc, have all become the stuff of nightmares.

The memories that show up daily on my Facebook feed regularly feature tear-jerking, treasured moments that span the duration of Kara and my relationship. I know that shit is coming. And I’m sure I could turn it off or choose not to peruse. But for reasons both healthy and un, I don’t take those measures. In some ways, it’s the car wreck you can’t look away from. It’s all on me, so I can’t complain too loudly.

But I’m still surprised on occasion, that over a year later I’m somehow still discovering new ways of getting grief-kicked in the kiwis. This evening’s brutal undercarriage crusher came by way of a Google Calendar notification. We were supposed to be watching a concert in Tacoma tonight. A makeup show from the original that had been canceled. However, this one was also canceled, months ago, and I forgot to remove the calendar notification.

Which is a bummer in many ways. Not the least of which was that it spawned two faux memories of moments that will never be. One, sitting in our home that was, and being bummed with Kara that it was canceled yet again. And the second is us actually attending this show we had long been anticipating. What I wouldn’t give to have either of those potential memories realized. Even the one where we sit quietly at home being disappointed together.

I can't wait for these things to turn into smile-inducing reminders of a wonderful chapter in my life. I normally try to paint the picture of hope or an upside with things like this. And I can see the potential for that in the future. But not now. Right now it’s just shit.