Big Waves
July 2022
I’m now at the point where I have respites from significant pangs of grief that vary in duration from hours, up to a day or even consecutive days. Which could not be more welcomed and makes me hopeful. When they return, however, I’ve noticed that individual waves of grief can be likened to an emotional tsunami.
There’s an indeterminate length of time before the wave hits the shore - and there typically isn’t a whole lot of warning. Similarly, once it does make landfall, there’s no way of telling how much it will consume, how fast, or for how long. You won’t know any of that shit until the waters recede and you finally have a moment to survey the landscape.
Despite the passage of time and ever-increasing distance from the event, these waves are occasionally just as intense as if it all happened last week. I had one hit the shore yesterday smack dab in the middle of a media event at a winery. Which sucked for me and caused confusion and concern amongst some others. I blamed my messiness on an irrational disdain for excessive tannins though, and I’d like to think they bought it.